Wednesday, November 4, 2009
You're Not Alone
I will be very honest and say that I have spent large portions of my life experiencing deep pain or engaging in behaviors that distracted me from or minimized my pain. Only in the last few years have I gathered the courage to just settle under waves of grief until they passed, and I want the world to know I have emerged! I remember toward the end of some heavy grieving having the sense that this pain was like a large, dark, and heavy cloak just draped over me everywhere I went. It could not be shaken and I wore it all day. Then one day, while envisioning and experiencing this cloak of sadness, I took a step back and saw that this cloak actually covered all of humanity. It is the burden of being human and we all had our portion to wear at particular times in our lives. Stepping back even farther, I shockingly realized that this same cloak draped over all of humanity was nothing more than the train of God's robe, and that He was actually wearing the cloak! We were draped only in the train of it, while He carried its greatest weight.
This morning driving home, after dropping the kids off at school, I suddenly became aware of something odd-- the absence of pain. I am driving in my car in absolute peace, enjoying the morning sun, thinking no negative thoughts, and shedding no tears. There were mornings I dragged myself out of bed under the weight of the cloak and took care of my children under the cloak. I know the depths of sorrow. I am keenly familiar with hurting, grief, and remorse. I lost my very self under that dark covering, and today, I just want to thank God I am alive.
I know I have readers all over the world, many who have awakened this morning beneath the cloak of pain. I know there are people around the globe who wonder how they can possibly go through one more day like this. I am certain some of these people are hurting because they are courageously facing down their demons and engaging in the long process of recovery. I still have days, of course, when I feel down, and I experience moments of sadness. I do not, however, feel the heavy burden of suffering any longer. The dark night finally passed, and it will pass for others too who just keep going forward. So, though I no longer wear the cloak of suffering, today I come beneath it with all of you who still wear it. You are not alone. I am strong enough now to come help you bear the weight of it today-- here, come let me hold this with you today. I am with you in spirit, acknowledging the weight of this thing you carry. I walk with you today. You can do this one more day.
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