Thursday, January 14, 2010

On the Wheel Again

I guess I shouldn't be surprised, and, in fact, I should probably be really happy about this-- God has put me back on the potter's wheel again! Did I really begin to think maybe I was done? I've been fully conformed now into perfection. I don't need anymore work, Lord. Thanks, you can go work on somebody else now. Actually, I've been through much more painful times (see previous blog posts if you don't believe me). This one is pretty mild, so I won't complain!

I truly, wholly, and completely love INFORMATION. I love to read it, watch it, study it, and examine it from every single aspect until I feel absorbed by the "it." Then once I am full as a tick on information, I like to lounge back in the fatness of it and be giddy. I like to slop around in the abundance of information I can find on whatever the subject of the day might be, just like a pig finds glee in a rich gooey mud hole... oh, the joy! Once I get satiated on the information-gathering, then I begin to have the burning passion to disseminate. I feel very confident in my ability to take all the information I've gathered and digested, then disseminate it to others through words. I will talk, talk, talk about it; write, write, write about it. That's one of the reasons I had to start this blog was to have another outlet for my communication passion. I'm a teacher at heart and not ashamed of this wonderful gift God placed in me at birth. It's a sweet thing He and I share, and I love to show Him what His gift can do.

So, here's where the potter's wheel got rolled out on me... sometimes I need to keep my big mouth shut. WHAT?! Say it ain't so!! For the bulk of my life, God has been an encouraging and doting parent when it comes to my love for gathering information, organizing it, then sharing it with other people. Here lately, however, I'm hearing Him gently say to me, "Shhhhhhhh. Just be quiet for right now." Yesterday I finally had the insight that knowledge in itself is NOT wisdom. It's only one part of wisdom. For me, knowledge is related to the information I can talk about and do something about. Wisdom is related to what I don't talk about it and do nothing about. Knowledge is what I say, wisdom is what I don't say. If you're a communicator/teacher like me, you've probably encountered those moments when you excitedly share your new found insights and information with someone who you feel REALLY needs it, and the receiving party stares back at you with that blank, defended look. When I see that look, I usually don't stop talking. That look means I just need to find another way to make you understand! Ok, so you're not getting it, maybe I'll draw you a picture! Ok, you still don't get it, that's cool. I'll walk you through it step by step! Ok, you still don't get it. Let's just talk about it some more and I'll answer your questions. Still not getting it... ok, maybe I need to make this plain to you, since you're clearly a little dense!

I have a very hard time accepting it when someone is not receiving my information. Eventually, I will just force this on you, if I have to. I can get a little scrappy about it if I need to. I am from the hills and we know how to handle these things out behind woodsheds when needed. I'm starting to get it, however, that sometimes it's just not my place to share my knowledge with certain people. In fact, it is wise at times that I do not disseminate knowledge. I read this verse in Proverbs this morning and laughed out loud, "For the Lord gives wisdom, and from his mouth come knowledge and understanding." (Proverbs 2:6) It's funny and beautiful and just so simple! GOD gives the wisdom and the knowledge. I can share my wealth of knowledge 500 ways and some people won't get it, but when GOD disseminates it, they'll get it. Hey, I can accept that. I'll stay on the potter's wheel for awhile until this sinks in a little more. Then when He's done with me, maybe He'll be willing to impart to me how He got them to understand when I couldn't. I want to know that trick, too! Guess this means I'm not quite done spinning here.

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